I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
