i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
