i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
