So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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