so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
