my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
