He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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