My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
