Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
