I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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