i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I love you.
Bad choice
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