the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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