I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
