You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
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