Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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