He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
