Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
