Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
