i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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