That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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