I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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