I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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