Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
