i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
