make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
