I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
