It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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