i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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