8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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