I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
