come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
