it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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