the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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