just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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