ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
