i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
