no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
