My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
