there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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