Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
