So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
