i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
that is very illegal...i love you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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