i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
