I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I look better un-naked...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
