He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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