Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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