I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
