He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
