I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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