sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
