In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
