he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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