I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
