She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
